If you are new around here, hello, welcome, hope you are well, you look good today.
With this newsletter we obviously let you know what we are dropping and show you the sexy new lookbook - but we also review the films that are featured to a just below GCSE level.
So, lets get started...
I once had COVID on New Years Eve so I was stuck at home, for most I am sure this is a nightmare, for me - pure bliss.
I had seen the business card scene from American Psycho so many times on Tiktok and Twitter so decided to finally watch. I had no idea what it was about or what to expect but fucking hell, what a ride.
To be totally honest, the actual storyline is secondary in this movie. You go into it for Christian Bale and you talk about it afterwards because of Christian Bale. He was perfect for this role. I'd argue it is his best performance, which is saying a lot 'cause he is a truly elite actor.
Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? Is it just a satire based on the mad arseholes who work in finance with a shit load of violence? Yes probably but I actually don't care because that business card scene still gets better with ever tiktok parody.
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
Imagine you're completely licked in your uni accommodation with a couple mates and someone says 'I've got a fire idea for a horror movie.' Now all you need is 6 million quid, one of the best directors in the world and a pair of comedic legends and boom - you've got Shaun of the Dead.
It really does feel like a true DIY cult classic but with genuinely excellent film making.
Great movie. Doesn't get old. Not much else to say really.
I’d like to think that as I’m the resident twin, I’ve been specifically lumped with this review.
Whilst more appropriately, our resident office assistant/ supernatural presence in the studio, who much like the spirits guiding the mania in The Shining, is somehow here, but not here (hence the slow replies to customer service emails), I’m left with the task.
Fortunately I’m no stranger to the Kubrick classic, so here’s my interpretation/ review.
Not as tekky as Tenet for example, the character dialogue may comes across dry & off-paced & some characters may even come across as “acting poorly”, Stephen Spielberg famously thought Nicholson’s acting was awful & wasn’t until a couple rewatches for his opinion to do a 180 & considering it then a fantastic performance. Until the horror actually begins, you might get fleeting thoughts to load up Fifa Ultimate Team.
But if you ride it just a bit longer, like the little fucker rides his bike through the hotel to be met by Kehinde & Taiwo (I don’t even remember if they have names) the scariest white girl twins I’ve ever seen - you’ll realise no expense seems to be spared in the cinematography, which is magnificent, and the world-building that Kubrick does inside the hotel. Blood filled elevators & “Hi, I’m Troy McClure, you may remember me from a Slow Thai music video” / endless references - All the little details mesh perfectly with the musical score to craft an atmosphere that is chilling, hostile and nightmarish. This is what makes it a classic horror film.
Anyway, nuff said. Grow up & take in this piece of cinema you scaredy pants.
BEST WORST FILM REVIEW:
Have you ever told your friends about a really really sick film that you’ve seen and one of them suggests that you all watch it and then you do and it turns out that the film is actually really really shit and you let your nostalgia lie to you and now everybody thinks you have really really bad taste? Well, yeah that’s what this film did to me.
M. Night Shyamalan had an absolute mare with this one; Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel and a little cameo from Jeremy Strong - decent line-up so you’d think the storyline would make sense, but it’s hard for it to when the antagonist doesn’t actually exist. I can’t say too much without saying too much but it’s definitely a portrayal of poor acting, combined with a woeful storyline and even worse dialogue.
Ultimately it’s a film that requires you to use your imagination to do all the work just to make it bearable, you’re giving no reasons to be emotionally attached to any of the characters - whatever is ‘Happening’ doesn’t really matter because whoever it’s ‘Happening’ to, we don’t care about. I might sound bitter but it’s been three years and my best friend hasn’t let me recommend a movie since, many winters have passed and the stain on my name remains, many a time I have thought about leaving my family behind and starting afresh in new lands.